Gifts For Boulderers: They Never Even Use Rope

Boulderers do not use rope. That is more or less the whole point of bouldering. So me, a man who makes things out of retired climbing rope, writing a gift guide for boulderers is a bit daft.

Bear with me.

I have done enough markets now to know exactly how this goes. Someone picks up a belt for their partner, says "ah, they only boulder", and puts it back down. Then they wander off and buy a chalk bag. The partner already owns three chalk bags.

What a boulderer already owns

Three chalk bags. Two brushes, one of which is a toothbrush. A pad that lives permanently in the boot. Shoes that smell like a crime. A guidebook with the corners turned down. Tape. A tub of something for their skin.

Whatever you were about to buy them, they have it, and they have opinions about it.

Gifts for boulderers that actually land

1. Climbing hold keychain, £3. A wee hold on their keys. This is the one for boulderers, because a hold is the thing they actually touch. It gets a laugh at the wall, which is half the job. See the keychains.

2. Heart keychain, £3. Clips onto a pad strap or a chalk bag. Sells out first at every market I do.

3. Rope coaster, £4. Their flat already has chalk dust in the carpet, so a coaster is not going to hurt. No two match, because no two ropes did. Rope coasters.

4. Carabiner keychain, £15. A proper working clip with rope through it. Goes on a pad, a bag or a set of keys.

5. Rope bracelet, £10. Made to their wrist, so you need the size. Nothing dangly, nothing that snags. Rope bracelets.

6. Rope belt, £28 or £33. Here is my argument. Boulderers wear trousers. Trousers need belts. Cut to their exact waist, 22 to 50 inches. Recycled climbing rope belts.

The bit boulderers secretly enjoy

Every one of these started life as a rope that caught a lead climber somewhere. Boulderers love telling you they do not need rope. Handing them something made from one is a decent wind up and a decent present at the same time.

And it keeps the stuff out of the ground. One rope is about 46.6 kg of CO2 already spent. Binning it wastes that twice over.

Three I do not make

A proper boar hair brush, which beats the toothbrush. A block of sessions at their wall. A new strap for the pad they have had since uni. None of those come from me and all three are good calls.

If they have a mate who leads and has a dead rope in the cupboard, point them at send me your rope and I will turn it into something.

Stay classy and remember,
Make Waste Useful.

George